As people marry later in life, many are bringing long-term (even short-time) opposite sex friendships into their marriage relationship. While the friendships were great during singlehood, in marriage, these relationships may prove problematic.

We recently asked our readers to set the record straight once and for all: If your partner has close friend(s) of the opposite sex, how would you feel?

I won’t feel bad and be angered over such. Before me was her friends and if I want to know her better then I should know her friends except if she is keeping them away from me.

Another side to this issue is her personality and the kind of career she is into. If her field is of core communication like mine then I shouldn’t be worried or throw eyes. But if not I should ask her questions. –

Once the trust in our relationship is 100%, I think one don’t need to feel cheated on depressed. Understanding and sincerity goes a long way in one’s relationship. – Saheed

It’s actually threatening at a time.
Especially if the said friend is getting a better part of of your partner’s attention.

But generally, it’s not bad. It’s always cool to improve your partner’s relationship skills and understanding.

You have to monitor and be sure the said friend isn’t a desperate admirer anyway. – Sadiq

Especially when married, the ‘close’ title is not really ideal no matter what the type of or understanding that might be. A partner in a marriage deserves some level of respect, and one of the ways of showing such is by drawing a line of friendship. The only ‘close’ opposite sex friend in any relationship should only be the spouse.
That’s my take.
Besides I see it as one of the ways of honouring the partner. – Owolabi

Its simple. I will call her to order and tell her the implication of what she is doing. I will just try to register my displeasure with her. – Godwin

Well, it is fine with me and normal to have a close friend or associate of the opposite sex if what exist between them is primarily based on friendship – maybe right from secondary school, tertiary institution or workplace. What should however be maintained in this aspect is trust, and the two must not allow unnecessary feelings to radiate in their heart in order not to create wrong emotion that lead to having an affair because such will be hard to quit especially in school and work place. However, their private life must not be shared by telling themselves what they face in their relationship. If they can avoid all of these, I am perfectly okay with it. But contrary to this, I will feel bad and reduce my trust in her. In fact, that might be the end! – Kayode

I will feel indifferent about it. In life, I don’t believe trust is what you suspect everytime to earn. And a woman who cheats on me is never meant for me. I always give my girl 100% freedom and watch her taking it for granted. – Leke

It depends on how “close” they are
While I’m of the opinion spouse should make friends with whom ever they want, the said friendship (between opposite sex) shouldn’t be close at all such that they share personal issues. A NO NO for me. I’d feel totally uncomfortable if they were that close. – Ameenah

I won’t feel bad. Maybe he’s more comfortable with the opposite sex. They probably are friends before I got to know him and for that reason would have shared moments together either of laughter, hardship, tears and healthy talks. Again, the intimacy most likely could be as a result of them growing up together, so, I wouldn’t try any sh*t to separate them – only if they give me reasons to and even at that, I will scrutinize before judging their closeness as it could also be that business deals bring them close and I wouldn’t want him to ever go broke. – Mariam

I won’t feel bad because my close friend is a male too. Having close friend of opposite sex doesn’t matter but what we feel in our heart. The heart knows where it belongs. – Rofiat

If my Partner has close friend of opposite sex, how would I feel? I wouldn’t feel bad when trust is involved. It is the stance of my partner that’ll determine my position towards her. If my partner is trustworthy, even when I am absent, I wouldn’t need to doubt her really. Relationship is built through agreements and the ability to work it out. I have lots of opposite sex as friends because I’ll want to learn from the other sides of myself and my partner shouldn’t be bothered, for I should calmly educate her to understand me better. – Yinka


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