Love is built on trust and with trust, you have a healthy relationship free of pain, ego and regrets.

If I may ask, why did you choose him or her? Infatuation, lust or love? Can you really condone him or her overlooking their past then seeing a new personality? It’s only on this decision trust can be built!

Trust: is Confidence in or reliance on some person or quality.
Pillar : An essential part of something that provides support.
Relationship: A romantic or sexual involvement.

Merging all of these, Trust – A Pillar in Relationship simply means that confidence in your partner is an important part that supports the existence of such relationship.

The confidence is as a result of the honesty, integrity, loyalty, and respect they have shown overtime. Lovers are expected to stay true to each other even in hard times, keep promises and important facts in a place of safety and love (heart).

At some point, your partner may have either said or done something that makes you question or even break the trust you have in them. We are all inherently complex beings who bring our past experiences, hurts, fears and expectations into every new relationship. Sometimes these sad experiences spill over into our new relationship and so lose our ability to feel safe in this new love life regardless of whether or not our partner actually “deserved” our lack of trust. This has negatively informed our reasoning making us to question our partners words and acts closely without caring about how they feel and when this continues, the relationship is likely to collapse.

To every equation there’s a solution, as there are ways you can help deepen your trust in that relationship. I mean you can gain the golden ground again.

These are frequent communication and keeping secrets said or discussed in the confine of your relationship.

  1. Consider his or her interest
  2. Share personal information
  3. Apologise for every mistake made
  4. Reassure each other that your love and safety are still intact

All of these stated above will further strengthen the foundation of trust between both parties. The question is can we really do these? Be sincere because it requires humility to realise this. Is someone imagining this?

Above all, trust is important as it helps to build cordiality and intimacy, paves way for freedom, provides you with a feeling of exhilaration which is an act of enlivening the spirits and gladdening the heart of your partner.
Believing in your partner’s self-worth and holding them in high esteem makes you see beyond their defaults. Their opinion should count in making decisions for relevant issues . Sharing problems is equally an important part of a relationship. It’s unhealthy if you can’t trust him or entrust your valuables in their care or feel unsecured when they share fun moments with friends, family, colleagues, employer or employee.

Having a beautiful and trust-filled relationship is easy if you can free your mind off those dirty thoughts. Make the impossible possible, never listen to rumour, believe what your partner says . Real Love happens when trust is jealously guarded. Love goes beyond what we watch in the movies or listen to as rhymes. It is as though breathtaking but practicable!

Mariam writes from Lagos. She can be reached via


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